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Category Archives: Crime

Cop Who Shot Unarmed Black Man Just Relieved He Didn’t Kill Lion

July 29, 2015by Sal Kingfisher 2 Comments

JACKSON, Mississippi—Officer Clyde Harris, a twelve-year veteran of the Jackson Police Department who earlier this year was exonerated after fatally shooting an unarmed black man, has admitted to colleagues and […]

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Crime

JUDGE CLEARS MAN IN JUSTIFIABLE ARSON HOMICIDE

June 12, 2015by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

Smearcase celebrates his freedom By Victor Miller BWN Special Correspondent Barnferrous, N.M.–“I did what any other sane American would have done in my place,” testified Arnold “Arnie” Smearcase when cross […]

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Crime

St. Louis Police Shoot Unarmed, Unlegged Black Man

May 21, 2015by Sal Kingfisher 1 Comment

ST. LOUIS, Missouri–Tension filled the air here as protesters gathered outside the police station to voice their anger over the shooting death of yet another unarmed, unlegged black resident. Witnesses […]

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Crime

Man’s Inner Child Arrested for Driving Under the Influence

May 6, 2015by Sal Kingfisher 2 Comments

By Victor Miller BWN Special Correspondent GLENNAMMY, NEW YORK–Freenaque Larch, whose forebears are alleged to have incorporated the wealthy village of Larchmont, New York, pleaded no contest on Thursday last […]

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Crime

Hackers Leak Amanda Knox Nude Pics, Snuff Video

March 28, 2015by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

SEATTLE, Washington–Exonerated accused murderer Amanda Knox called the hackers who leaked hundreds of her personal photos and videos “true, vicious criminals” and described the leak as an attack on her […]

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Crime

Investigator Believes Man Who Smelt it Likely Dealt It

September 15, 2014by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

NEWBERRY, Maine–Investigators were stunned today to discover that the man responsible for a stomach-churning odor in a crowded doctor’s office waiting room was the same man who initially reported the […]

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Crime

Infant Leaves Dad in Car in 90 Degree Heat for Six Hours

August 1, 2014by Sal Kingfisher 2 Comments

Oops! ROCK RIDGE, New Mexico–A 29 year-old father of two was found dead in his car in front of the Building Blocks Child Care center yesterday.  Authorities allege the man, […]

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Crime

NRA Admits Guns Do Kill People After M-4 Rifle Escapes Armory, Strangles Hooker

February 20, 2014by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

Mugshot of the accused FAIRFAX, VA–National Rifle Association spokesperson Kenneth Raymond says the group is discussing internally what its message will be moving forward following the shocking arrest of an […]

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Crime

Source Confirms Veteran Cop Getting Too Old For This Shit

December 5, 2013by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

Newton’s new partner is young enough to be his daughter SAN ARMANTO, CA–Unnamed sources within the San Armanto Police Department have confirmed that Sgt. Alex Newton, a 26-year veteran of […]

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Crime

Police Warn Watching Charlie Sheen Sex Tape Will Kill the Viewer in Seven Days

November 22, 2013by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

Just standing near Sheen has been proven to cause meth addiction HOLLYWOOD–Police have taken to social media and the internet, along with more traditional means such as television and newspapers, […]

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Crime

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