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Monthly Archives: April 2013

Shocked Christian Stands Before Allah on Judgment Day

April 30, 2013by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

This was the greeting party HEAVEN—Burt Sommers lived 59 years as a truly devout Christian, attending church three times a week along with weekly bible study sessions. But after dying […]

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Religion

Third Juror Caught Masturbating During Jodi Arias Trial

April 26, 2013by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

Jurors were provided this image to help combat their urges PHOENIX—For the third time during the four month murder trial of dangerously hot Jodi Arias, a juror has been excused […]

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Legal, US

Entire NFL Comes Out as Gay

April 24, 2013by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

Not as surprising as you might think New York City—National Football League Commissioner Roger Goodell announced today that every member of the league is officially declaring his homosexuality. The news […]

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Sports

Branch Davidians Starting to Wonder if David Koresh Will Ever Be Resurrected

April 23, 2013by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

Followers hope he has maintained his sexual magnetism WACO, TX—The remaining members of the Branch Davidian church that was led by David Koresh have been patiently awaiting the resurrection of […]

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Religion, US

Arresting Officer Apologizes for Not Recognizing Reese Witherspoon

April 22, 2013by Sal Kingfisher 1 Comment

Witherspoon looking as sexy as she can look ATLANTA, GA—Early Friday morning actress Reese Witherspoon, famous for baring her luscious breasts in the 1998 film Twilight, was arrested after an […]

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Entertainment

Ghost of Alzheimer’s Patient Haunting the Wrong House

April 17, 2013by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

Dr. Westmore also uses his ghost hunting adventures to make time with the ladies ROCKY FORD, WY—Paranormal researchers were called to the home of Bob and Kitty Collins earlier this […]

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Lifestyle, US

Nation’s Bomb Dealers Seeing Record Sales as Obama Threatens New Bomb Control Laws

April 16, 2013by Sal Kingfisher 3 Comments

The spring catalog at Larkin’s Guns, Explosives and Pawn PORT ST. LUCIE, FL—As the investigation into the bombing at the finish line of the Boston Marathon continues, a record number […]

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US

Straight Couple Fights to Adopt Gay Baby

April 11, 2013by Sal Kingfisher 1 Comment

The little gay fella is already becoming a tease DENTON, TX—When Bonnie and Patrick Jackson first began the process of adopting a new baby boy, the young couple never dreamed […]

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Legal, US

This Day In History: 25 Years Ago Michael Jordan Wished AIDS Upon Magic Johnson

April 11, 2013by Sal Kingfisher 1 Comment

Jordan made sure to keep his distance from Johnson’s AIDS hole April 11, 1988—During the 1987-88 season, Michael Jordan was the toast of the National Basketball Association, following up a […]

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Sports

Chris Brown Admits He’ll Probably End Up Killing Rihanna

April 10, 2013by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

Chris Brown and Rihanna count up how many times she’s been legally declared dead HOLLYWOOD—After news broke that his on-again, off-again relationship with pop singer Rihanna was off again, R&B […]

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Entertainment

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  • Texas Governor Suggests Abortion Could Gain Support if it Were Performed by Shooting the Fetus
  • Investigation Reveals That I Fucked Your Mom
  • Lauren Boebert Says Colorado Gunman Fell One Kill Short of Earning Free Meal at Shooter's Grill
  • "Exploding Arm Syndrome" Completely Unrelated to COVID-19 Vaccine, says Pfizer Rep
  • Texas Pushes to Outlaw All Abortions Except in Cases Where Fetus Poses Threat to Mother and Father

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