Shocked Christian Stands Before Allah on Judgment Day
This was the greeting party HEAVEN—Burt Sommers lived 59 years as a truly devout Christian, attending church three times a week along with weekly bible study sessions. But after dying […]
Monthly Archives: April 2013
Third Juror Caught Masturbating During Jodi Arias Trial
Jurors were provided this image to help combat their urges PHOENIX—For the third time during the four month murder trial of dangerously hot Jodi Arias, a juror has been excused […]
Entire NFL Comes Out as Gay
Not as surprising as you might think New York City—National Football League Commissioner Roger Goodell announced today that every member of the league is officially declaring his homosexuality. The news […]
Branch Davidians Starting to Wonder if David Koresh Will Ever Be Resurrected
Followers hope he has maintained his sexual magnetism WACO, TX—The remaining members of the Branch Davidian church that was led by David Koresh have been patiently awaiting the resurrection of […]
Arresting Officer Apologizes for Not Recognizing Reese Witherspoon
Witherspoon looking as sexy as she can look ATLANTA, GA—Early Friday morning actress Reese Witherspoon, famous for baring her luscious breasts in the 1998 film Twilight, was arrested after an […]
Ghost of Alzheimer’s Patient Haunting the Wrong House
Dr. Westmore also uses his ghost hunting adventures to make time with the ladies ROCKY FORD, WY—Paranormal researchers were called to the home of Bob and Kitty Collins earlier this […]
Nation’s Bomb Dealers Seeing Record Sales as Obama Threatens New Bomb Control Laws
The spring catalog at Larkin’s Guns, Explosives and Pawn PORT ST. LUCIE, FL—As the investigation into the bombing at the finish line of the Boston Marathon continues, a record number […]
Straight Couple Fights to Adopt Gay Baby
The little gay fella is already becoming a tease DENTON, TX—When Bonnie and Patrick Jackson first began the process of adopting a new baby boy, the young couple never dreamed […]
This Day In History: 25 Years Ago Michael Jordan Wished AIDS Upon Magic Johnson
Jordan made sure to keep his distance from Johnson’s AIDS hole April 11, 1988—During the 1987-88 season, Michael Jordan was the toast of the National Basketball Association, following up a […]
Chris Brown Admits He’ll Probably End Up Killing Rihanna
Chris Brown and Rihanna count up how many times she’s been legally declared dead HOLLYWOOD—After news broke that his on-again, off-again relationship with pop singer Rihanna was off again, R&B […]
