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Monthly Archives: March 2013

Obamacare Allows Illegal Immigrants to Collect Life Insurance on Aborted Fetuses

March 28, 2013by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

Pro-life demonstrators react to the news WASHINGTON D.C.—President Obama today was forced to answer questions regarding a previously unreported aspect of his Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act, better known […]

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Legal, Politics, US

This Day in History: Eight Years Ago Pope John Paul II Suffered Devastating Injuries While Bull-Riding

March 28, 2013by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

John Paul II waves to the crowd at the 2005 International Finals Rodeo in Rome March 28, 2005–By 2005, Pope John Paul II had long been the subject of rumors […]

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History, Religion, World

Supreme Court To Allow Gay Marriage on a Case By Case Basis

March 28, 2013by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

Immediately following the Rosie O’Donnell ruling WASHINGTON D.C.—Members of the United States Supreme Court have ruled that the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act is largely unconstitutional, paving the way for […]

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Legal, Lifestyle, US

Chicago Tourism Board Readies “Murder City” Campaign

March 27, 2013by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

A recently murdered resident greets visitors to Chicago CHICAGO—Tourism officials in Chicago are preparing to launch a daring new advertising campaign that will tout the city’s high murder rate as […]

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Lifestyle, US

Demi Moore Arrested For Underage Drinking

March 26, 2013by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

Moore and actor Emilio Estevez reportedly use the same cosmetic surgeon HOLLYWOOD—Police cited a little-known city ordinance when they arrested 50-year old actress Demi Moore over the weekend for drinking […]

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Entertainment, Legal

Ex-con Says He’ll Pull One More Bank Heist Then He’s Done

March 26, 2013by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

The tough but thoughtful McIntyre has a Philosophy degree from NYU SANDY RIDGE, AZ—Bill “Razorblades” McIntyre, a one-time stunt driver and veteran of the special forces, says he has reluctantly […]

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Lifestyle, US

Editorial: The Passion of the Truth

March 25, 2013by Sal Kingfisher 1 Comment

Come with me if you want the truth When I was two years old my mother bestowed upon me the gift of an infant Neapolitan Mastiff, who I named Hermes. […]

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Editorial, History

Baltimore Man Prepares To Relive That Time He Shit Himself At Final Four Watch Party

March 22, 2013by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

March Madness is a difficult time for Josh Stevens BALTIMORE, MD—For many sports fans, the NCAA men’s college basketball tournament is a celebration of the purity of sports, a time […]

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Lifestyle, Sports

Israel Reports Thousands of Guns Missing After Obama Visit

March 22, 2013by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

A look inside the president’s carry-on JERUSALEM—Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu thanked US President Barack Obama for his first visit to the Jewish state in a national address that was […]

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Politics, World

Easter Bunny Arrested For Allegedly Offering Holiday Handjobs In Lieu of Easter Eggs As Egg Prices Soar

March 22, 2013by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

Moments before the arrest, Mr. Bunny shields his face from cameras EASTERLAND, CA—The Easter Bunny has been arrested at his mobile home in the Holiday Village trailer park following reports […]

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Legal, US

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  • Texas Governor Suggests Abortion Could Gain Support if it Were Performed by Shooting the Fetus
  • Investigation Reveals That I Fucked Your Mom
  • Lauren Boebert Says Colorado Gunman Fell One Kill Short of Earning Free Meal at Shooter's Grill
  • "Exploding Arm Syndrome" Completely Unrelated to COVID-19 Vaccine, says Pfizer Rep
  • Texas Pushes to Outlaw All Abortions Except in Cases Where Fetus Poses Threat to Mother and Father

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