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Monthly Archives: March 2015

Indiana Governor Pence Voices Support for No-Sex Marriage

March 28, 2015by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

INDIANAPOLIS, Indiana–Governor Mike Pence responded to increasing criticism over the state’s new religious freedom law by voicing strong support for no-sex marriage.  People across the nation, including many influential celebrities […]

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Politics

Hackers Leak Amanda Knox Nude Pics, Snuff Video

March 28, 2015by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

SEATTLE, Washington–Exonerated accused murderer Amanda Knox called the hackers who leaked hundreds of her personal photos and videos “true, vicious criminals” and described the leak as an attack on her […]

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Crime

President Obama Unable to Find Secret Service Agents Again

March 24, 2015by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

Could you call my wife? WASHINGTON, D.C.–Witnesses reported seeing President Barack Obama nervously strolling alone down Pennsylvania Avenue earlier today, apparently searching for his Secret Service detail, which was nowhere […]

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Politics

Steelers Sign Roethlisberger to Protective Order

March 24, 2015by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

PITTSBURGH, Pennsylvania–The Pittsburgh Steelers announced today that they have convinced star quarterback Ben Roethlisberger to sign a long term protective order that will keep him at least 500 feet away […]

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Sports

House Sub-Committee Investigates Obama NCAA Bracket

March 15, 2015by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

Smart money is always with the 12 over five seeds WASHINGTON, D.C.–Rep. Hal Rogers (R-KY), chairman of the House Appropriations Committee, convened a special sub-committee this week to look into […]

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Politics

Hillary Clinton Emails Reveal Large Donations from Several Nigerian Princes

March 14, 2015by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

WASHINGTON, D.C.–Rep. Trey Gowdy (R-S.C.) said today that former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton’s private emails contain potentially damning correspondence between Clinton and a succession of Nigerian princes, bankers and […]

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Politics

Filthy, Insane Tina Yothers Emerges from Old Family Ties Set

March 6, 2015by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

Her hair was blackened with soot HOLLYWOOD–A decades-old Hollywood mystery was finally solved yesterday when long-missing Family Ties actress Tina Yothers was discovered living in a boarded-up Paramount Studios sound […]

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Entertainment

Nation’s Snow Manufacturers Enjoy Record Winter Profits

March 5, 2015by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

Handcrafted snow is incredibly labor intensive PITTSBURGH, Pennsylvania–Russell Hart’s great-grandfather started Sno-Globe Industries in this city in 1919.  Within a half-century, the one-time mom and pop snow manufacturing company had […]

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Business

Putin Vows to Increase Bench-Press by 20% Over Next 12 Months

March 4, 2015by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

MOSCOW–President Vladimir Putin today informed Russian Federal Assembly members his intended plan to increase the presidential maximum bench press by up to 20% over the next year.  Putin outlined a […]

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World

ISIS Signs #1 Ranked Terrorist Recruiting Class

March 4, 2015by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

Recent recruiting trip AR-RAQQAH, Syria–For the third straight year ISIS has emerged after terrorist signing day with the top ranked class in the world, according to several terrorist ranking services.  […]

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World

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  • Texas Governor Suggests Abortion Could Gain Support if it Were Performed by Shooting the Fetus
  • Investigation Reveals That I Fucked Your Mom
  • Lauren Boebert Says Colorado Gunman Fell One Kill Short of Earning Free Meal at Shooter's Grill
  • "Exploding Arm Syndrome" Completely Unrelated to COVID-19 Vaccine, says Pfizer Rep
  • Texas Pushes to Outlaw All Abortions Except in Cases Where Fetus Poses Threat to Mother and Father

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