HEAVEN–Saying He realizes it sounds a little shallow and immature, Jesus admitted today that having His birthday fall on Christmas is a bit of a bummer.
“It’s like you only get half the presents that other kids get,” the Son of God complained, “I know I shouldn’t be this way, but anyone with a Christmas birthday knows what I’m talking about.”
Jesus went on to say that anyone with a December birthday can understand His feelings, but especially those born on the 25th.
“Seeing other folks unwrapping gifts on your birthday kind of makes you feel, I don’t know, less special maybe?” Christ explained, “It’s like, hey, this is supposed to be my day. And I know I shouldn’t look at it that way and should remember the reason for the season and all that, but I’m just being real.”
In the end, Jesus said He understands that there are much bigger problems in the world than having a Christmas birthday, but he still wishes the holiday would be changed to the third Saturday of the month.
“It’s not like it just falls that way every few years. Christmas is always on the 25th!” He went on, “It would be great if it was like Thanksgiving or something and be on a certain day of the week every year. Good Lord, listen to me complain! Talk about your first world problems!”