Jesus Bummed Birthday Falls on Same Day as Christmas
HEAVEN–Saying He realizes it sounds a little shallow and immature, Jesus admitted today that having His birthday fall on Christmas is a bit of a bummer. “It’s like you only […]
Tag Archives: Christmas
Elf on a Shelf Embedded with ISIS Files Scathing Report
Willie has had a hard time dealing with the experience NORTH POLE–Nervous and withdrawn, Willie, an Elf on a Shelf who was assigned to watch and report on the behavior […]
Virgin Mary’s Image Appears on Painting of Virgin Mary
Can you see it? NEW JORDAN, Georgia–Hailing it a miracle, hundreds of visitors are flocking to this rural community to visit the New Jordan Baptist Church, where members claim the […]
Santa Claus Mistakenly Delivers Assault Rifles, Ammunition to Bullied, White Suburban High Schooler
It’s just what I wanted! WHITE HILLS, MD–North Pole officials are blaming a clerical error for the accidental delivery of a cache of weapons and over 10,000 rounds of ammunition […]
Rogue Elf Accuses Santa Claus of Spying on American Citizens
He sees you when you’re sleeping…and who you’re sleeping with NORTH POLE–An elf who left Santa Claus’s fortified compound last month in the dead of night has come forward with […]
After Thanksgiving, Family Agrees to Meet Again When Grandma Dies
If the stuffing doesn’t kill her now LINCOLN, NE–Over the past several years, the Luther family has seen its once-huge gatherings become ever smaller. A decade ago, it was not […]
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