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Monthly Archives: November 2014

Statistics: One in Three Women Will Be Raped by Bill Cosby

November 22, 2014by Sal Kingfisher 1 Comment

Often times the attacks occur during a performance WASHINGTON, D.C.–According to data compiled by the U.S. Center for Crimes Against Nature, one out of every three women either have been […]

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Health

90% of Alabama Mosquitoes Suffer From Diabetes

November 21, 2014by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

TUSCALOOSA, Alabama–Researchers at the University of Alabama warned that the state’s mosquito population is at serious risk of completely dying out due to a crippling diabetes epidemic.  State Entomologist Wilbur […]

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Health

Al Sharpton Decries Lack of African American School Shooters

November 21, 2014by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

NEW YORK CITY–Rev. Al Sharpton, civil rights activist and host of MSNBC’s PoliticsNation, took the opportunity last night to blast the lack of opportunities available to black students who wish […]

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US

Obama Downplays Significance of Crown He’s Been Wearing Everywhere

November 21, 2014by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

WASHINGTON, D.C.–Calling it nothing more than an example of his “personal sense of style,” President Barack Obama today said people are reading too much into the fact that he has […]

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Politics

Peeking Scandal Rocks World Marco Polo Championships

November 17, 2014by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

LIMA, Peru–Organizers are facing another public relations nightmare after the championship match between France and China at the World Marco Polo Championships was halted midway through the third period following […]

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Sports

Study: No One Gives a Shit About Your Problems

November 17, 2014by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

Better you than me LAWRENCE, Kansas–A recent study conducted at the University of Kansas found that no one gives a living shit about your fucking problems.  The study, for which […]

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Science

Car Dealer Commited to Asylum After Insane Markdowns

November 17, 2014by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

The outfit didn’t help MALLORY, Michigan–Authorities were called to a local auto dealership earlier today when owner Doug Anderson began displaying increasingly erratic behavior while filming a new commercial.  Anderson, […]

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Business

Teammates Praise Peyton Manning for Being “Exactly the Right Amount of White”

November 10, 2014by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

Manning is fearless when it comes to yelling at black teammates DENVER, Colorado–Denver Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning made headlines again this week when he completely avoided controversy or criticism of […]

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Sports

Obama Pledges $10 Billion for VA Crematoriums

November 10, 2014by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

Well take care of you WASHINGTON, D.C.–As the U.S. prepares to honor its military veterans and service members on the annual Veterans Day holiday celebration, President Obama promised to spend […]

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US

Francis Burkham, First Blind Major League Baseball Umpire, Dead at 88

November 4, 2014by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

Burkham often made calls before the pitch was delivered LITTLETON, Colorado–Pioneering Major League Baseball umpire Francis Burkham, credited with breaking the seeing barrier in sports officiating, has died at the […]

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US

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  • Texas Governor Suggests Abortion Could Gain Support if it Were Performed by Shooting the Fetus
  • Investigation Reveals That I Fucked Your Mom
  • Lauren Boebert Says Colorado Gunman Fell One Kill Short of Earning Free Meal at Shooter's Grill
  • "Exploding Arm Syndrome" Completely Unrelated to COVID-19 Vaccine, says Pfizer Rep
  • Texas Pushes to Outlaw All Abortions Except in Cases Where Fetus Poses Threat to Mother and Father

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