The Invention of Sex
He immediately changed his Facebook status to “in a relationship” BY DOKTOR HANS LUFTPOST, PHD. It is an extremely little-known fact that our earliest ancestors were born completely ignorant of […]
Category Archives: History
SPECIAL REPORT: SNOW WHITE’S SECRET JOURNAL DISCOVERED?
By Victor Miller BWN Special Correspondent HEIDELBERG, GERMANY…(GCO)–Although popular tradition has it that The Grimm Brothers collected the Sleeping Beauty tale from local peasants, recent archaeological finds in parts of […]
Poll: Americans Name Ben Franklin Greatest President
PHILADELPHIA, Pennsylvania–With Presidents’ Day approaching, the Joshing Institute, a division of the American Historical Society, conducted a nationwide poll to determine our nation’s greatest president in the public’s eyes. “There […]
This Day in History: 58 Years Ago 15 Year Old Dick Cheney Killed His First Stray Dog
December 17, 1956–On this date Richard Bruce “Dick” Cheney graduated from torturing and killing insects and small rodents–and the occasional kitten–to a fully grown Labrador Retriever named Jake, embarking on […]
This Day in History: 45 Years Ago Matthew McConaughey Emerged Fully Formed in Texas
He jogged right out of the ocean November 4, 1969–45 years ago today Matthew McConaughey, Texas’ greatest hero and Hollywood legend, emerged fully formed from the waters of Corpus Christi […]
This Day in History: Four Years Ago Lebron James Made “The Decision”
Black tank top or white? Let’s go with white. July 10, 2010–On this day NBA superstar Lebron James added the phrase “The Decision” to the cultural lexicon when he announced […]
Unedited MLK “I Have a Dream” Speech Included References to Flying, Raquel Welch
“At one point in my dream, I was delivering this speech nude.” WASHINGTON D.C.–Noted Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. biographer Nicholas Stix revealed today that the speech King delivered during […]
This Day in History: 99 Years Ago Steamroll Jenkins, The NFL’s First Black Player, Rushed for 897 Yards and 16 TDs Against the Chicago Bears
Jenkins wasn’t allowed headgear, and opposing teams were allowed to fire shotguns at him November 12, 1920–When the Chicago Bears ran on to their home field on that windy day […]
Native American Man Happily Celebrates Day That Marks Beginning of Centuries of Slaughter of His Ancestors
Crow: “It could be worse. I could be black.” ALLEN, N.M.–Daniel Crow plans to celebrate Columbus Day this year as he does every year: by sleeping in and collecting a […]
This Day in History: 20 Years Ago An Insane George Lucas Vowed to Destroy His Star Wars Franchise
Step One: This Nightmare August 5, 1993–A decade had passed since Return of the Jedi, the final film in George Lucas’ influential and wildly successful Star Wars trilogy, and for […]
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