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Category Archives: History

The Invention of Sex

June 26, 2015by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

He immediately changed his Facebook status to “in a relationship” BY DOKTOR HANS LUFTPOST, PHD. It is an extremely little-known fact that our earliest ancestors were born completely ignorant of […]

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History

SPECIAL REPORT: SNOW WHITE’S SECRET JOURNAL DISCOVERED?

May 11, 2015by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

By Victor Miller BWN Special Correspondent HEIDELBERG, GERMANY…(GCO)–Although popular tradition has it that The Grimm Brothers collected the Sleeping Beauty tale from local peasants, recent archaeological finds in parts of […]

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History

Poll: Americans Name Ben Franklin Greatest President

February 15, 2015by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

PHILADELPHIA, Pennsylvania–With Presidents’ Day approaching, the Joshing Institute, a division of the American Historical Society, conducted a nationwide poll to determine our nation’s greatest president in the public’s eyes. “There […]

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History

This Day in History: 58 Years Ago 15 Year Old Dick Cheney Killed His First Stray Dog

December 17, 2014by Sal Kingfisher 3 Comments

December 17, 1956–On this date Richard Bruce “Dick” Cheney graduated from torturing and killing insects and small rodents–and the occasional kitten–to a fully grown Labrador Retriever named Jake, embarking on […]

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History

This Day in History: 45 Years Ago Matthew McConaughey Emerged Fully Formed in Texas

November 4, 2014by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

He jogged right out of the ocean November 4, 1969–45 years ago today Matthew McConaughey, Texas’ greatest hero and Hollywood legend, emerged fully formed from the waters of Corpus Christi […]

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History

This Day in History: Four Years Ago Lebron James Made “The Decision”

July 10, 2014by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

Black tank top or white?  Let’s go with white. July 10, 2010–On this day NBA superstar Lebron James added the phrase “The Decision” to the cultural lexicon when he announced […]

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History

Unedited MLK “I Have a Dream” Speech Included References to Flying, Raquel Welch

January 21, 2014by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

“At one point in my dream, I was delivering this speech nude.” WASHINGTON D.C.–Noted Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. biographer Nicholas Stix revealed today that the speech King delivered during […]

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History

This Day in History: 99 Years Ago Steamroll Jenkins, The NFL’s First Black Player, Rushed for 897 Yards and 16 TDs Against the Chicago Bears

November 12, 2013by Sal Kingfisher 1 Comment

Jenkins wasn’t allowed headgear, and opposing teams were allowed to fire shotguns at him November 12, 1920–When the Chicago Bears ran on to their home field on that windy day […]

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History

Native American Man Happily Celebrates Day That Marks Beginning of Centuries of Slaughter of His Ancestors

October 14, 2013by Sal Kingfisher 1 Comment

Crow: “It could be worse.  I could be black.” ALLEN, N.M.–Daniel Crow plans to celebrate Columbus Day this year as he does every year: by sleeping in and collecting a […]

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History, Uncategorized

This Day in History: 20 Years Ago An Insane George Lucas Vowed to Destroy His Star Wars Franchise

August 5, 2013by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

Step One: This Nightmare August 5, 1993–A decade had passed since Return of the Jedi, the final film in George Lucas’ influential and wildly successful Star Wars trilogy, and for […]

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History

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  • Texas Governor Suggests Abortion Could Gain Support if it Were Performed by Shooting the Fetus
  • Investigation Reveals That I Fucked Your Mom
  • Lauren Boebert Says Colorado Gunman Fell One Kill Short of Earning Free Meal at Shooter's Grill
  • "Exploding Arm Syndrome" Completely Unrelated to COVID-19 Vaccine, says Pfizer Rep
  • Texas Pushes to Outlaw All Abortions Except in Cases Where Fetus Poses Threat to Mother and Father

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