Investigation Reveals That I Fucked Your Mom
TULSA, Oklahoma—Following a brief investigation, officials say they have uncovered overwhelming evidence that proves that I fucked your mom last night. Citing my intimate knowledge of her ass that is […]
Category Archives: US
Lauren Boebert Says Colorado Gunman Fell One Kill Short of Earning Free Meal at Shooter’s Grill
BOULDER, Colorado–Rep. Lauren Boebert condemned the actions of a man who opened fire at a King Soopers grocery store on Monday, killing ten. “It’s such and act of cowardice to […]
BWN Exclusive: Interview with Donald Trump and Excerpt from his Upcoming Memoir, Trump Change: The Greatest Presidency of All Time
We spoke with former President Donald Trump about his legacy, life after the presidency, and his soon to be released fictional memoir, Trump Change: The Greatest Presidency of all Time. […]
CDC Computer Model Suggests Entire Town of Mayberry would have Succumbed to COVID-19
(ATLANTA, GA)–Dr. Inger Damon with the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention announced earlier today that recent computer models warn of a new surge of COVID-19 variants, and that if […]
Marjorie Taylor Greene Calls for Removal of Word “Peach” from “Impeachment”
WASHINGTON DC–Embattled Republican Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene responded strongly to her detractors, both inside the US House of Representatives and in the media, by returning her focus to working for […]
Nation’s Police Announce Plan to Increase Shootings of Unarmed White Men
WASHINGTON D.C.—In an effort to defuse growing hostilities between the law enforcement community and African Americans, today the nation’s highest ranking police official announced a plan to increase the number […]
Nation’s Men Demand Transexuals Join Them in the Restroom
AMERICA–Men across the nation have rallied together to demand that transgender people who have male genitalia come on into the men’s room with them, like God intended. “Is that a […]
Dog Blows Through $30 Million Inheritance
Carrot after a recent arrest PAWNEE, Illinois–Two years ago Carrot, a seven-year-old Australian Shepherd mix, made national headlines when he was named as the sole beneficiary in the will of […]
Texas Governor Instructs National Guard to Monitor Perseids Meteor Shower
AUSTIN, Texas–Governor Greg Abbott has responded to growing concerns from residents all across the state who believe the Perseids Meteor Shower to be a carefully orchestrated ruse that the Obama […]
Bootleggers Face Long Way to Go, Short Time to Get There
ATLANTA—Local good old boy lawbreakers Bo Darville and Cledus Snow are preparing to take on what some are calling an impossible task as they attempt to make a run to […]
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