We spoke with former President Donald Trump about his legacy, life after the presidency, and his soon to be released fictional memoir, Trump Change: The Greatest Presidency of all Time.
Q: You wrote this memoir under a pseudonym, DJ Trump. Why?
A: There are some kiss and tell moments. Some dirty little secrets, like the time I made love to Carmen Electra. So I don’t necessarily want people to know that I wrote it.
Q: Most former presidents write an autobiography after leaving office. What made you decide to go with a fictional memoir?
A: People always say I’m a liar, which is hurtful. Actually I’m probably one of the most honest people who ever lived. I’m the most honest man who ever lived. People call me Honest Don. People used to call Abraham Lincoln “Honest Abe,” but we’ve just acquired the copyright on that so you won’t be hearing that anymore. You’ll just hear “Honest Don.” So most of the things in the book are true, but if I call it fiction then it’s actually beating these people, these losers who call me a liar, at their own game. Now they don’t know what’s a lie and what isn’t. Because it’s all true, but we get to call it fiction. Every word of it is a fact, other than some parts. So you can’t call me a liar if you don’t know whether I’m lying. Sometimes I operate a level or two above these people who criticize me. Always.
Q: One of the key aspects about the book is that your wife, Melania, doesn’t appear to exist in it, and your character is happily single and making love to all these women. What led you to make that choice?
A: I think it would be hard on Melania to see herself portrayed as a woman whose husband is having all these affairs and paying prostitutes and porn stars for these deviant sexual acts. In some ways it’s a romance novel, because so many women have romantic feelings toward me. I’m incredibly attractive to women. Women approach me all the time. Women from so many races. All the races. They don’t even care that I’m better than them, so why would I care? That’s the kind of person I am. But I don’t want Melania to know about all those women. So I wrote her out of it to protect her from feeling those things. I try to always be the most caring and thoughtful person there is.
Q: In the book, you are close friends with OJ Simpson. Are the two of you friends in real life?
A: I try to be a tremendous supporter of black people. I’m their most important supporter. OJ Simpson, to me, is a perfect symbol for all black people. He’s feared and made to be a villain, just because white people believe he may have murdered two white people, one his ex-wife. It’s incredibly symbolic of the way I view all black people, and other non-whites, so I think it’s a tremendous thing to put him in the book. It’s an honor to all black people. If you ask them they’ll tell you it’s an honor. But no, I’ve never met the man.
Q: Your character in the book is the richest man on the planet. Are you really that wealthy?
A: People are very concerned about my wealth. But they are worried about how much money I have. Not how much I don’t have. They worry about how much money I have. I think that should tell you all you need to know about how wealthy I am. I’m incredibly wealthy. There are very few people as wealthy as me, I’ll tell you that.
Q: What do you think your legacy as president will be?
A: It was the most successful presidency of all time. More incredible victories, tremendous victories, than any president. More than any king or emperor in history. We didn’t have any wars, but everyone understands that if we had wars we would have won. We thought about going to Mars. We thought about what it would be like to cure cancer. We thought about a lot of things. So many great and amazing things. It’s hard to imagine all the things we thought about doing. No one else would have thought of those things.
Read an excerpt from former president Donald Trump’s forthcoming book, Trump Change: The Greatest Presidency of All Time:
I saw these two beautiful women. They weren’t what someone like you would consider beautiful. You probably wouldn’t even understand what you were looking at if you saw them. I’m probably the only person who could make you understand, but it would be lost on you because people like you don’t get the opportunity to experience that kind of beauty and can’t really appreciate it. That’s how beautiful they were. Maybe they still are, but it has been a few years and years can be hard on women. But they were very beautiful at that time. They approached me with a mixture of timidity and delight. I could have grabbed them if I had wanted to. I could have grabbed them anywhere, but I don’t need to do things like that.
I think you should run for president, they said. But I don’t want to run for president, I said. I think you would be tremendous as a president, they said. Maybe they were on to something. That was the first time I seriously began to consider running. I told them I don’t care for running. I play golf for exercise. They said it’s not literally running, but more like figure skating. It’s a good thing they were beautiful, because they weren’t particularly bright. That’s what’s wonderful about women. You don’t have to be very bright if you’re beautiful.
So that’s how I decided to become president. I decided we should celebrate, so I took these two women, tremendously gorgeous, wonderfully beautiful, women to dinner. It was a very expensive restaurant. I own this restaurant, I said. That’s amazing they said. We had an amazing dinner, very expensive. Most people don’t ever get to have a meal that expensive. I’m going to show you something, I said. I’m going to show you how to run a business, which is exactly how I will run the country as your greatest president. Bring me the check, I said to the waiter. The waiter brought me the check. I paid for our meals and gave a 100% tip. The two beautiful women looked at me with their eyes wide. You’ve never seen women this beautiful, believe me. I told the waiter, do not take this tip. I pay you a very good salary to work here. This tip goes to the restaurant. I looked at the beautiful women and told them, I just made a profit off of myself. That’s how you win at business. They were extremely impressed.
Most people would need to ask others for advice about how to become president. But I don’t need advice. I could take advice and be fabulous at it. I would take advice better than anyone you’ve ever seen. But I don’t need advice. People love me. All the races. The Orientals. The Mexicans think I’m the greatest. So do the Hispanics. I’ve done more for Hispanics than anyone in history. So I didn’t need advice. But I’m a humble person, incredibly humble. If the word “humble” didn’t exist I’d probably invent it. I may have invented the word humble and forgotten about it. That’s how many incredible things I’ve done. Tremendous achievements. But I’m a fantastically humble man. So I decided to let my great friend Tom Brady offer some advice.
Tom Brady is a winner. Big winner, fantastic at winning. Football player, very tough sport. Huge number of blacks involved. Tom Brady has won many big games, huge, tremendous games. And he’s not even that tall. People say he’s tall, but I stand next to him and he’s actually shorter than me. But he has a beautiful wife. Incredibly beautiful. Very sexy. I could have slept with her, you understand? So I say to Tom, Tom you win the big game often, is that right? And he says, yes I win the big game year after year. Every year I win the big game. So I say to Tom, Tom, what do you think that it takes to win the big game year after year? And he says, and I’ll never forget this, he says, Donald–because I allow him to call me Donald–he says, Donald, everyone loves you. You do so many great things, tremendous amazing things, that you won’t even have to try, and you will win the presidency. Tom says, you could even almost try to not win, and you’d still win. So that’s what I did.