PHILADELPHIA, Pennsylvania–After working with Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Tim Tebow for more than a year, quarterback coach Tom House believes he has finally identified the reason the Heisman Trophy-winning play caller […]
NEW YORK CITY–Tom Jennings, a former aide to Donald Trump, claims he was fired from the GOP presidential candidate’s campaign because he failed to lose enough money. But that’s not […]
MIAMI, Florida–Evidence continues to mount that the driver of the vehicle just up ahead must think he’s the only motorist on the goddamned road, according to a source at the scene. […]
WASHINGTON, D.C.–United States Surgeon General Vivek H. Murthy issued a statement today warning mosquitoes to avoid contact with singer/actress Miley Cyrus. In recent months, mosquito communities across the nation have […]
WASHINGTON, D.C.–The United States Supreme Court ruled today 5-4 that size does not matter in any way in matters pertaining to human physiology. “It’s not the size of the wave, it’s […]
So majestic BLOOMINGTON, Minnesota–Noted animal rights activist Jasmin Willowtree said today that while she stands by her view that big-game trophy hunting is a cruel and selfish practice, she was […]
Come to think of it… MILFORD, Connecticut–Subway Vice President of Marketing Jeremy Conway admitted today that there were several statements made by former spokesman Jared Fogle during his initial audition […]
Carrot after a recent arrest PAWNEE, Illinois–Two years ago Carrot, a seven-year-old Australian Shepherd mix, made national headlines when he was named as the sole beneficiary in the will of […]
HOLLYWOOD–The History Channel is set to premiere its highly anticipated new series, Celebrity Ghost Hunters, this week and the show’s creators promise it will be a start-studded event as the crew […]
WASHINGTON, D.C.–Sources within the Obama administration confirmed today that the White House has purchased property insurance through State Farm that covers the entire state of Missouri. The policy lists President […]
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