Super Bowl LV Point Spread Widens to 7.5 after God Places $500 bet on Kansas City
LAS VEGAS–Following days of the point spread for Super Bowl LV staying firmly at 3 points, mostly on the strength of a surge of support for the Tom Brady-led Tampa […]
Category Archives: Sports
Sympathetic NHL Hall of Fame to Induct Pete Rose
TORONTO–National Hockey League Hall of Fame Chairman Wayne Gretzky announced today that the 2016 class would include, alongside legendary hockey player Wayne Gretzky, Major League Baseball’s all time hits leader […]
Doctor Clears Jets QB Geno Smith to Return to Sucking
NEW YORK CITY–New York Jets Head Coach Todd Bowles told reporters today the team’s terrible quarterback, Geno Smith, has been cleared to return to the team after rehabilitating a broken […]
New England Patriots Accused of Leaving Fireworks Lying Around Giants Facility
NEW YORK CITY–The NFL is investigating allegations that New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick has been sneaking into New York Giants team facilities and leaving dangerous fireworks lying around, […]
QB Guru Thinks Nonstop Masturbation to Blame for Tim Tebow’s Poor Throwing Motion
PHILADELPHIA, Pennsylvania–After working with Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Tim Tebow for more than a year, quarterback coach Tom House believes he has finally identified the reason the Heisman Trophy-winning play caller […]
Tom Brady’s Son Voted Most Likely to Succeed by Pre-Schoolmates
LOS ANGELES, California—Benjamin Brady, the six year-old son of New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady and supermodel Gisele Bundchen, has been voted Most Likely to Succeed by his classmates at […]
Tom Brady Sobs After Being Passed Over By Every Team in 2015 NFL Draft
BOSTON, Massachusetts–New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady was reduced to tears after once again being passed over by all 32 teams in the 2015 NFL draft. The All-Pro four-time Super […]
Tiger Woods “Has His Fire Back” Report Local Prostitutes
JUPITER ISLAND, Florida–After several seasons of sub-par performances and pushing through various physical ailments, PGA superstar Tiger Woods is finally regaining his form and performing like a much younger man, […]
Steelers Sign Roethlisberger to Protective Order
PITTSBURGH, Pennsylvania–The Pittsburgh Steelers announced today that they have convinced star quarterback Ben Roethlisberger to sign a long term protective order that will keep him at least 500 feet away […]
NFL Quietly Removes Spouse-Dragging From Rookie Combine
But that was my best event INDIANAPOLIS, Indiana–NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell held a relatively low key press conference today to address this year’s rookie combine. Among the issues Goodell spoke […]
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