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Monthly Archives: April 2014

Putin Flips Crimea for a Cool Million

April 21, 2014by Sal Kingfisher 1 Comment

That real estate license is finally paying off MOSCOW–Call him President Trump.  Russian President Vladimir Putin, who has been heavily criticized by the White House for his policy in Ukraine, […]

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World

Wilmer Valderrama Reviews Sex With Lindsay Lohan

April 21, 2014by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

Each week BWN special correspondent Wilmer Valderrama reviews the sexual prowess of the various Hollywood starlets he has bedded during his illustrious career.  This week, Wilmer reviews Mean Girls and The […]

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Reviews

US Hotdog Makers to Stop Using Real Dog Meat

April 18, 2014by Sal Kingfisher 1 Comment

Free-range wiener dogs PORTLAND, OR–An American dietary staple is about to change forever.  Representatives from the five major US hotdog manufacturers met here today to discuss the future of the […]

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Agriculture

Johnny Manziel Flees to Canada to Avoid NFL Draft

April 3, 2014by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

He ran the last hundred yards TORONTO, ONTARIO–Former Texas A&M quarterback Johnny Manziel arrived here this morning, reportedly seeking amnesty to avoid being drafted into the National Football League.  Manziel, […]

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Sports

Study Suggests Fatass Kids More Likely to Develop Low Self Esteem

April 3, 2014by Sal Kingfisher 2 Comments

And epic beards GENEVA, SWITZERLAND–A new study funded by the World Health Organization has found that fatass children are at a more than three times higher risk of developing low […]

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Health

Star Wars VII to Feature Muslim Sith Lord, Gay Jedi Knight

April 3, 2014by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

Darth Obama bin Laden HOLLYWOOD–In a move insiders say is designed to appeal to the high moral standards of Disney’s target audience, it has been revealed that the next sequel […]

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Entertainment

Church’s New Pastor Believes in God a Little Too Much

April 1, 2014by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

But he says the facts don’t support global warming EAST FORK, KY–When Reverend Paul Crockett came to the East Fork Church of Christ last year, the congregation at the small […]

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Religion

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