Supreme Court Rules that Size Doesn’t Matter
WASHINGTON, D.C.–The United States Supreme Court ruled today 5-4 that size does not matter in any way in matters pertaining to human physiology. “It’s not the size of the wave, it’s […]
Tag Archives: Parody
Activist Forced to Admit Stuffed Cecil the Lion Makes Stunning Trophy
So majestic BLOOMINGTON, Minnesota–Noted animal rights activist Jasmin Willowtree said today that while she stands by her view that big-game trophy hunting is a cruel and selfish practice, she was […]
Jared’s Subway Audition Comparing Subs to 16 Year-Old Pussy Should Have Been Red Flag, Exec Admits
Come to think of it… MILFORD, Connecticut–Subway Vice President of Marketing Jeremy Conway admitted today that there were several statements made by former spokesman Jared Fogle during his initial audition […]
Dog Blows Through $30 Million Inheritance
Carrot after a recent arrest PAWNEE, Illinois–Two years ago Carrot, a seven-year-old Australian Shepherd mix, made national headlines when he was named as the sole beneficiary in the will of […]
Celebrity Ghost Hunters Premiere to Feature Ghost of Heath Ledger
HOLLYWOOD–The History Channel is set to premiere its highly anticipated new series, Celebrity Ghost Hunters, this week and the show’s creators promise it will be a start-studded event as the crew […]
White House Buys Multi-Billion Dollar Insurance Policy on State of Missouri
WASHINGTON, D.C.–Sources within the Obama administration confirmed today that the White House has purchased property insurance through State Farm that covers the entire state of Missouri. The policy lists President […]
Sean Hannity Diagnosed with Rare Form of Stupidity
NEW YORK CITY–Sean Hannity, host of the Fox News program Hannity, shocked his legions of fans today when he revealed that he has been diagnosed with an extremely rare and […]
Texas Governor Instructs National Guard to Monitor Perseids Meteor Shower
AUSTIN, Texas–Governor Greg Abbott has responded to growing concerns from residents all across the state who believe the Perseids Meteor Shower to be a carefully orchestrated ruse that the Obama […]
Mike Huckabee Draws Perfect Likeness of Inside of Own Rectum From Memory Alone
Can you speak up? I have shit in my ears. MARYVILLE, Arkansas—GOP presidential hopeful and former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee visited Miss Cynthia Parker’s first grade art class at Maryville […]
Cop Who Shot Unarmed Black Man Just Relieved He Didn’t Kill Lion
JACKSON, Mississippi—Officer Clyde Harris, a twelve-year veteran of the Jackson Police Department who earlier this year was exonerated after fatally shooting an unarmed black man, has admitted to colleagues and […]
Broken World News 