Veteran Finally Receives Dishonorable Discharge After 44 Years
Parker is behind the other soldiers in the fetal position MOUNT PLEASANT, MO—John Parker was a 20 year old Staff Sergeant in the US Army in 1969, having cowered during […]
Category Archives: US
Heart Attack Grill Unveils New Menu That Includes Execution Style Murder In Back Alley
Customers leave this life with full bellies and broken dreams LAS VEGAS—A popular Las Vegas hamburger joint that caters to suicidal customers who want a tasty last meal is expanding […]
The Crocodile Hunter Given Second Chance at Life
God’s curse also included hanging out with Will Smith and Matt Damon HOLLYWOOD—Steve Irwin, better known to American television audiences as The Crocodile Hunter, made a surprise appearance on The […]
Doctor Who Helped Craft Death With Dignity Act Dies on Shitter
Dr. Martin often used fart jokes to put his patients at ease EUGENE, OR—Dr. Stanley Martin, who played a vital role in the passing of Oregon’s Death With Dignity Act, […]
Obama Admits He Was Fathered By A Jackal
The president demonstrates his “jackal face” WASHINGTON DC—President Obama finally admitted today that there may be a small kernel of truth to numerous stories that are being shared on social […]
Make-A-Wish Foundation Grants Dying 14-Year-Old Boy’s Wish to Have Sex With Jerry Sandusky
Sandusky calls prison “Way better than I expected.” FRANKLIN TOWNSHIP, PA—When 14 year-old Joey Patrick found out earlier this year that the cancer he had struggled with for the last […]
AmericasComedy.com Review Confirms Broken World News is the Internet’s Most Trustworthy News Source
Is that your review, or are you just happy to see us? SACRAMENTO—Soon-to-be Pulitzer Prize-winning media critic Alex Schildgen has just completed his masterwork: a glowing review of the hard-hitting, […]
Obamacare Allows Illegal Immigrants to Collect Life Insurance on Aborted Fetuses
Pro-life demonstrators react to the news WASHINGTON D.C.—President Obama today was forced to answer questions regarding a previously unreported aspect of his Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act, better known […]
Supreme Court To Allow Gay Marriage on a Case By Case Basis
Immediately following the Rosie O’Donnell ruling WASHINGTON D.C.—Members of the United States Supreme Court have ruled that the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act is largely unconstitutional, paving the way for […]
Chicago Tourism Board Readies “Murder City” Campaign
A recently murdered resident greets visitors to Chicago CHICAGO—Tourism officials in Chicago are preparing to launch a daring new advertising campaign that will tout the city’s high murder rate as […]
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