Defiant Kristi Noem Tears Head off Kitten During Press Conference
PIERRE, South Dakota — South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem apparently doubled-down on her image as a tough as nails country woman earlier today when she stood in front of the […]
Category Archives: US
Taylor Swift Announces Birth of Third Child
KANSAS CITY, Missouri–Pop superstar Taylor Swift announced today on social media that she has given birth to a baby girl. The reclusive singer, who is known to shun the spotlight […]
Investigation Reveals That I Fucked Your Mom
TULSA, Oklahoma—Following a brief investigation, officials say they have uncovered overwhelming evidence that proves that I fucked your mom last night. Citing my intimate knowledge of her ass that is […]
Lauren Boebert Says Colorado Gunman Fell One Kill Short of Earning Free Meal at Shooter’s Grill
BOULDER, Colorado–Rep. Lauren Boebert condemned the actions of a man who opened fire at a King Soopers grocery store on Monday, killing ten. “It’s such and act of cowardice to […]
BWN Exclusive: Interview with Donald Trump and Excerpt from his Upcoming Memoir, Trump Change: The Greatest Presidency of All Time
We spoke with former President Donald Trump about his legacy, life after the presidency, and his soon to be released fictional memoir, Trump Change: The Greatest Presidency of all Time. […]
CDC Computer Model Suggests Entire Town of Mayberry would have Succumbed to COVID-19
(ATLANTA, GA)–Dr. Inger Damon with the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention announced earlier today that recent computer models warn of a new surge of COVID-19 variants, and that if […]
Marjorie Taylor Greene Calls for Removal of Word “Peach” from “Impeachment”
WASHINGTON DC–Embattled Republican Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene responded strongly to her detractors, both inside the US House of Representatives and in the media, by returning her focus to working for […]
Nation’s Police Announce Plan to Increase Shootings of Unarmed White Men
WASHINGTON D.C.—In an effort to defuse growing hostilities between the law enforcement community and African Americans, today the nation’s highest ranking police official announced a plan to increase the number […]
Nation’s Men Demand Transexuals Join Them in the Restroom
AMERICA–Men across the nation have rallied together to demand that transgender people who have male genitalia come on into the men’s room with them, like God intended. “Is that a […]
Dog Blows Through $30 Million Inheritance
Carrot after a recent arrest PAWNEE, Illinois–Two years ago Carrot, a seven-year-old Australian Shepherd mix, made national headlines when he was named as the sole beneficiary in the will of […]
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