Statistics: One in Three Women Will Be Raped by Bill Cosby
Often times the attacks occur during a performance WASHINGTON, D.C.–According to data compiled by the U.S. Center for Crimes Against Nature, one out of every three women either have been […]
Monthly Archives: November 2014
90% of Alabama Mosquitoes Suffer From Diabetes
TUSCALOOSA, Alabama–Researchers at the University of Alabama warned that the state’s mosquito population is at serious risk of completely dying out due to a crippling diabetes epidemic. State Entomologist Wilbur […]
Al Sharpton Decries Lack of African American School Shooters
NEW YORK CITY–Rev. Al Sharpton, civil rights activist and host of MSNBC’s PoliticsNation, took the opportunity last night to blast the lack of opportunities available to black students who wish […]
Obama Downplays Significance of Crown He’s Been Wearing Everywhere
WASHINGTON, D.C.–Calling it nothing more than an example of his “personal sense of style,” President Barack Obama today said people are reading too much into the fact that he has […]
Peeking Scandal Rocks World Marco Polo Championships
LIMA, Peru–Organizers are facing another public relations nightmare after the championship match between France and China at the World Marco Polo Championships was halted midway through the third period following […]
Study: No One Gives a Shit About Your Problems
Better you than me LAWRENCE, Kansas–A recent study conducted at the University of Kansas found that no one gives a living shit about your fucking problems. The study, for which […]
Car Dealer Commited to Asylum After Insane Markdowns
The outfit didn’t help MALLORY, Michigan–Authorities were called to a local auto dealership earlier today when owner Doug Anderson began displaying increasingly erratic behavior while filming a new commercial. Anderson, […]
Teammates Praise Peyton Manning for Being “Exactly the Right Amount of White”
Manning is fearless when it comes to yelling at black teammates DENVER, Colorado–Denver Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning made headlines again this week when he completely avoided controversy or criticism of […]
Obama Pledges $10 Billion for VA Crematoriums
Well take care of you WASHINGTON, D.C.–As the U.S. prepares to honor its military veterans and service members on the annual Veterans Day holiday celebration, President Obama promised to spend […]
Francis Burkham, First Blind Major League Baseball Umpire, Dead at 88
Burkham often made calls before the pitch was delivered LITTLETON, Colorado–Pioneering Major League Baseball umpire Francis Burkham, credited with breaking the seeing barrier in sports officiating, has died at the […]
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