Bootleggers Face Long Way to Go, Short Time to Get There
ATLANTA—Local good old boy lawbreakers Bo Darville and Cledus Snow are preparing to take on what some are calling an impossible task as they attempt to make a run to […]
Tag Archives: Humor
Nation’s Flies Rally Against Proposed Fly Swatter-Control Bill
WASHINGTON, D.C.–Nearly a billion common houseflies buzzed the nation’s capital today to protest a bill that would require flies to show two forms of photo identification when purchasing fly-swatters. The […]
The Invention of Sex
He immediately changed his Facebook status to “in a relationship” BY DOKTOR HANS LUFTPOST, PHD. It is an extremely little-known fact that our earliest ancestors were born completely ignorant of […]
Fucking Pussy Dies of Bird Flu
Newport, Rhode Island–Dave Mariucci, a 26 year-old software engineer, died Friday, only one day after being diagnosed with avian influenza, commonly known as bird flu. Sources close to Mariucci say […]
JUDGE CLEARS MAN IN JUSTIFIABLE ARSON HOMICIDE
Smearcase celebrates his freedom By Victor Miller BWN Special Correspondent Barnferrous, N.M.–“I did what any other sane American would have done in my place,” testified Arnold “Arnie” Smearcase when cross […]
Black Population Plummets After Right to Race Law Passes
Now I don’t have to close my eyes to imagine you’re Brad Pitt WASHINGTON, D.C.–Within hours of President Obama signing into law the controversial “Right to Race” bill, which grants […]
VP Biden Fails Third White House Piss Test
WASHINGTON, D.C.–Vice President Joe Biden was called in to the Oval Office today by President Obama, who demanded an explanation for why the V.P. had popped positive on a third […]
St. Louis Police Shoot Unarmed, Unlegged Black Man
ST. LOUIS, Missouri–Tension filled the air here as protesters gathered outside the police station to voice their anger over the shooting death of yet another unarmed, unlegged black resident. Witnesses […]
Coal Barons Admit They “Were Only Foolin’”
Gotcha! By Victor Miller BWN Special Correspondent TAILHOOK, Indiana–Marty and Blair Aghastique, world’s richest purveyors of anthracite—admitted king makers, secret Presidential manipulators and owners of governments from Washington to Canberra, […]
Congressman Proposes Building Fence Around the Earth to Keep out Illegal Space Aliens
WASHINGTON, D.C.–Amid growing concerns that there may be intelligent life in the universe, U.S. Representative Alan Fudd (R-ID) has introduced a bill that would fund construction of a massive chain-link […]
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