Bootleggers Face Long Way to Go, Short Time to Get There

ATLANTA—Local good old boy lawbreakers Bo Darville and Cledus Snow are preparing to take on what some are calling an impossible task as they attempt to make a run to Texarkana, Texas in an 18 wheeler, pick up 400 cases of Coors beer and make a return delivery here—all in the next 28 hours.

“We’re gonna do what they say can’t be done,” says Darville, without offering an explanation as to who “they” refers to.  Darville also fails to explain what makes the trip so difficult.

“Well, it’s about 670 miles–according to your route–one way,” Darville explains, “Mapquest tells me we can make it there in about nine and a half hours, which would put us at around twenty, twenty one hours round trip, depending on potty breaks.”

“We should be able to make the drive, deliver the load, go home and get a full eight hours, and make it to the party and drink some beer. That’s if all goes well.”

Snow says there are several variables that could possibly extend the trip, including highway patrolmen, road conditions, and heavy traffic.

“Oftentimes I will encounter biker gangs who take exception to my redneck appearance,” Snow says, “Usually they will beat me up in an elaborate bar fight where I hold my own at first before they overcome me with sheer numbers.  But I always get the last laugh when I run over their bikes with my truck.”

Snow says it is also not uncommon to be chased by overzealous Texas sheriffs or cuckolded husbands or boyfriends.

“We generally get into all manner of mischief and shenanigans,” Snow laughs, “We’ve even caused some fairly serious-looking auto accidents.  But they’re always non-injury.  We’re pretty lucky.”

In the end, he says they always finish their runs just before time runs out.

“We’ve got a long way to go and a short time to get there,” Darville says as they begin their journey, “We’re east-bound and down.  Well, actually we’re west-bound, I suppose, to start with. And then we’ll turn around.  And then we’ll be east-bound.  It can get pretty complicated.”

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