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Tag Archives: funny news

Supreme Court To Hear Desperate Pleas of 6 Million Americans Born Between 1940 and 1945

April 28, 2015by Sal Kingfisher 1 Comment

Desperately pleading By Victor Miller BWN Special Correspondent WASHINGTON, D.C.–In a rare show of clemency, The Supremes agreed to hear the sons and daughters of The Greatest Generation’s argument for […]

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Legal

Francis Burkham, First Blind Major League Baseball Umpire, Dead at 88

November 4, 2014by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

Burkham often made calls before the pitch was delivered LITTLETON, Colorado–Pioneering Major League Baseball umpire Francis Burkham, credited with breaking the seeing barrier in sports officiating, has died at the […]

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US

Texas Town Quarantines All Librarians Amid Ebola Fears

October 21, 2014by Sal Kingfisher 1 Comment

CHESTER, Texas–Residents in this sleepy east Texas community have taken it on themselves to stop the deadly Ebola virus from invading the city limits.  Despite no one displaying any symptoms […]

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Health

Wilmer Valderrama Reviews Sex with Amy Schumer

October 20, 2014by Sal Kingfisher 1 Comment

Each week BWN special correspondent Wilmer Valderrama reviews the sexual prowess of the various Hollywood starlets he has bedded during his illustrious career.  This week, Wilmer reviews comedian and star […]

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Reviews

Nation’s Parents Name Adrian Peterson New Boogeyman

October 20, 2014by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

He’s coming for you! WICHITA, Kansas–The Center for Parental Discipline announced this week that suspended Minnesota Vikings running back Adrian Peterson has been named the new Boogeyman and will be […]

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Lifestyle

Man Cries Foul After Buying Ebola Suit Made From Ebola

October 18, 2014by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

Personalized apron included BROOK CITY, Louisiana–David Canter thought he had a sure-fire legal case against Turnco Products.  But that was before he read the fine print.  The 35 year-old freelance […]

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Health

McDonald’s Introduces 99-Cent, Bio-Degradable, Big Mac

October 18, 2014by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

Have it your finger-lickin way OAK BROOK, Illinois–In an effort to remain viable in the ultra-competitive fast food industry, McDonald’s Corporation announced today that it is offering its popular Big […]

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Business

Nation’s Men Devastated After Justin Bieber Bench Presses 450 Pounds

October 5, 2014by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

Bieber after a recent professional boxing match HOLLYWOOD, Florida–Grown men across the nation and around the world were shocked and inconsolable earlier this week when video emerged showing bad boy […]

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Entertainment

NFL to Fund Study on Effects of Concussions on Players’ Spouses

October 5, 2014by Sal Kingfisher 1 Comment

Spending less time online and more time cleaning has proven to be effective at reducing the risk of concussions NEW YORK CITY–In light of recent reports on the growing problem […]

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Health

Obama Growing Weary of Mowing White House Lawn

September 10, 2014by Sal Kingfisher 1 Comment

The President is also responsible for planting the White House trees and gardens WASHINGTON, D.C.–White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest announced today that President Obama is currently accepting bids from […]

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Politics

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