LOS ANGELES, California—Benjamin Brady, the six year-old son of New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady and supermodel Gisele Bundchen, has been voted Most Likely to Succeed by his classmates at […]
Pigot? Maybe BOSTON, Massachusetts—Dr. Henry Wadsworth, a linguistics professor at Boston College, is heading a team comprised of some of the world’s top linguists that is attempting to find the […]
ATLANTA—Local good old boy lawbreakers Bo Darville and Cledus Snow are preparing to take on what some are calling an impossible task as they attempt to make a run to […]
WASHINGTON, D.C.–Nearly a billion common houseflies buzzed the nation’s capital today to protest a bill that would require flies to show two forms of photo identification when purchasing fly-swatters. The […]
PRINCETON, New Jersey–New Jersey Governor Chris Christie announced today his intention to walk for the Republican presidential nomination in the 2016 election. Christie included in his announcement the stipulation that […]
He immediately changed his Facebook status to “in a relationship” BY DOKTOR HANS LUFTPOST, PHD. It is an extremely little-known fact that our earliest ancestors were born completely ignorant of […]
Newport, Rhode Island–Dave Mariucci, a 26 year-old software engineer, died Friday, only one day after being diagnosed with avian influenza, commonly known as bird flu. Sources close to Mariucci say […]
Smearcase celebrates his freedom By Victor Miller BWN Special Correspondent Barnferrous, N.M.–“I did what any other sane American would have done in my place,” testified Arnold “Arnie” Smearcase when cross […]
Now I don’t have to close my eyes to imagine you’re Brad Pitt WASHINGTON, D.C.–Within hours of President Obama signing into law the controversial “Right to Race” bill, which grants […]
WASHINGTON, D.C.–Vice President Joe Biden was called in to the Oval Office today by President Obama, who demanded an explanation for why the V.P. had popped positive on a third […]
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