ISIS Releases Video Defending Bill Cosby
SAMARRA, Iraq–In a new video posted to an ISIS social media account, ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-baghdadi summarized the militant group’s victories in 2014 and outlined the schedule for the […]
Fighting Fire With Fire Proves Wildly Ineffective in Arizona Blaze
SAND CREEK, Arizona–Firefighters took drastic measures in battling an out-of-control blaze at a mid-town housing complex early this morning, but their efforts proved fruitless as the structure was completely destroyed. […]
Stunned Jameis Winston Learns Meaning of “Consensual”
Can you use it in a sentence? TALLAHASSEE, Florida–Embattled Florida State University quarterback Jameis Winston said today that this whole time he’s been thinking consensual meant something completely different than […]
Researchers Unearth Clues Into the Origins of Danny DeVito
Early DeVito CAIRO, Egypt–Researchers at the American University of Cairo announced they’ve made a major discovery that could provide clues into the origin of actor Danny DeVito. Christian Carmine, professor […]
Obama Proud to be First and Last Black President
One is the loneliest number WASHINGTON, D.C.–President Barack Obama visited Greenwood Elementary School today where he read to third grade students and answered questions on a range of topics. The […]
Statistics: One in Three Women Will Be Raped by Bill Cosby
Often times the attacks occur during a performance WASHINGTON, D.C.–According to data compiled by the U.S. Center for Crimes Against Nature, one out of every three women either have been […]
90% of Alabama Mosquitoes Suffer From Diabetes
TUSCALOOSA, Alabama–Researchers at the University of Alabama warned that the state’s mosquito population is at serious risk of completely dying out due to a crippling diabetes epidemic. State Entomologist Wilbur […]
Al Sharpton Decries Lack of African American School Shooters
NEW YORK CITY–Rev. Al Sharpton, civil rights activist and host of MSNBC’s PoliticsNation, took the opportunity last night to blast the lack of opportunities available to black students who wish […]
Obama Downplays Significance of Crown He’s Been Wearing Everywhere
WASHINGTON, D.C.–Calling it nothing more than an example of his “personal sense of style,” President Barack Obama today said people are reading too much into the fact that he has […]
Peeking Scandal Rocks World Marco Polo Championships
LIMA, Peru–Organizers are facing another public relations nightmare after the championship match between France and China at the World Marco Polo Championships was halted midway through the third period following […]
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