V.P. Biden Masters Kick-Ass Karate Move
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Vice President Joe Biden briefed media today on his upcoming schedule, the status of several projects his office is working on, and his mastery of a deadly effective karate […]
Category Archives: Politics
Linguists Scramble to Find Word to Describe Donald Trump
Pigot? Maybe BOSTON, Massachusetts—Dr. Henry Wadsworth, a linguistics professor at Boston College, is heading a team comprised of some of the world’s top linguists that is attempting to find the […]
Chris Christie Announces Plan to Walk for President
PRINCETON, New Jersey–New Jersey Governor Chris Christie announced today his intention to walk for the Republican presidential nomination in the 2016 election. Christie included in his announcement the stipulation that […]
VP Biden Fails Third White House Piss Test
WASHINGTON, D.C.–Vice President Joe Biden was called in to the Oval Office today by President Obama, who demanded an explanation for why the V.P. had popped positive on a third […]
White House to Hold Open Casting Call for Upcoming False Flag Production
WASHINGTON, D.C.–White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest told reporters today that the Obama administration will be holding open casting calls in several U.S. cities to fill roles in an as […]
Bill Clinton Growing Excited at Prospect of Receiving Fellatio From Sitting U.S. President
Not you WASHINGTON, D.C.–Sources close to former president Bill Clinton confirmed today that the statesman is growing increasingly excited at the prospect of getting head from an actual sitting United […]
Indiana Governor Pence Voices Support for No-Sex Marriage
INDIANAPOLIS, Indiana–Governor Mike Pence responded to increasing criticism over the state’s new religious freedom law by voicing strong support for no-sex marriage. People across the nation, including many influential celebrities […]
President Obama Unable to Find Secret Service Agents Again
Could you call my wife? WASHINGTON, D.C.–Witnesses reported seeing President Barack Obama nervously strolling alone down Pennsylvania Avenue earlier today, apparently searching for his Secret Service detail, which was nowhere […]
House Sub-Committee Investigates Obama NCAA Bracket
Smart money is always with the 12 over five seeds WASHINGTON, D.C.–Rep. Hal Rogers (R-KY), chairman of the House Appropriations Committee, convened a special sub-committee this week to look into […]
Hillary Clinton Emails Reveal Large Donations from Several Nigerian Princes
WASHINGTON, D.C.–Rep. Trey Gowdy (R-S.C.) said today that former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton’s private emails contain potentially damning correspondence between Clinton and a succession of Nigerian princes, bankers and […]
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