Jobless Americans making the daring journey to Mexico

MEXICO CITY–Speaking to the Senate, Mexican President Enrique Pena Nieto addressed growing concerns from the country’s citizens about the increasing numbers of illegal immigrants flooding across the border from the United States.

“The US government has, for years, been talking about erecting a wall between our countries,” Nieto said, “Well I say, Mr. Obama, erect that wall!”

Originally intended to prevent Mexican workers from illegally entering the US, a wall or fence along the border would now serve to keep Americans from entering Mexico, where they are being blamed for taking jobs and contributing to higher crime and obesity rates.

“For the first time, Mexico has overtaken the US as the most obese nation in the world,” Nieto continued, “And this is largely due to the influx of illegals crossing the border into Mexico.”

Nieto said many Americans seek lower-paying jobs south of the border in order to avoid the higher taxes they now pay in the US due to an increased minimum wage.  And as more states legalize marijuana, demand for Mexican drugs has seen a sharp decline, causing Americans who are accustomed to the higher quality to risk arrest when seeking them out.

“The Americans come here, looking for lower-paying jobs and better drugs,” Nieto explained, “They don’t respect our culture.  They bring their guns and video games.  They refuse to learn our language.  Before you know it, there will be signs in both English and Spanish in all our restrooms.”