Investigation Reveals That I Fucked Your Mom
TULSA, Oklahoma—Following a brief investigation, officials say they have uncovered overwhelming evidence that proves that I fucked your mom last night. Citing my intimate knowledge of her ass that is […]
Tag Archives: Fake News
Lauren Boebert Says Colorado Gunman Fell One Kill Short of Earning Free Meal at Shooter’s Grill
BOULDER, Colorado–Rep. Lauren Boebert condemned the actions of a man who opened fire at a King Soopers grocery store on Monday, killing ten. “It’s such and act of cowardice to […]
Doctors Now Say Some Moderate Shaking Can Be Good for Babies
LONDON–Dr. Kal Memon at the CHI Saint Lawrence Pediatric Research Hospital said this week that recent research has shown that developing babies can reap great benefits from light to moderate […]
Debate Moderator Reminds Trump to Keep Answers On Topic, Hands off Hillary’s Pussy
LAS VEGAS–Fox News anchor Chris Wallace opened last night’s final presidential debate as moderator by reminding GOP nominee Donald Trump to stay on topic, keep his answers short and respectful, […]
Sympathetic NHL Hall of Fame to Induct Pete Rose
TORONTO–National Hockey League Hall of Fame Chairman Wayne Gretzky announced today that the 2016 class would include, alongside legendary hockey player Wayne Gretzky, Major League Baseball’s all time hits leader […]
Trump: Abortion OK Only When Made to Look Like Miscarriage
NEW YORK CITY–In an apparent attempt to appeal to both Republican and Democratic voters, GOP Presidential Nominee Donald Trump today clarified his stance on abortion. “Abortion is wrong–period. I’ve been […]
Nation’s Police Announce Plan to Increase Shootings of Unarmed White Men
WASHINGTON D.C.—In an effort to defuse growing hostilities between the law enforcement community and African Americans, today the nation’s highest ranking police official announced a plan to increase the number […]
Loser 11th Grader Still Hasn’t Lost Virginity to English Teacher
WACO, Texas—According to multiple sources, Mark Dodson, a junior at David Koresh High School, is the sole boy in his class who has yet to lose his virginity to Sandra […]
Nation’s Men Demand Transexuals Join Them in the Restroom
AMERICA–Men across the nation have rallied together to demand that transgender people who have male genitalia come on into the men’s room with them, like God intended. “Is that a […]
First Stage of Gitmo Shutdown to Affect Nightclubs, Waterpark
GUANTANAMO BAY, Cuba—Critics of President Barack Obama’s inaction on his long-promised plan to close the federal detention center here were overjoyed at the news last week that the prison, commonly […]
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