Defiant Kristi Noem Tears Head off Kitten During Press Conference
PIERRE, South Dakota — South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem apparently doubled-down on her image as a tough as nails country woman earlier today when she stood in front of the […]
Tag Archives: Parody
Three Decades Later, Cupid Still Haunted By Julia Roberts, Lyle Lovett Misfire
He plans to start a new fitness program either later this week or next week HOLLYWOOD–The first thing you notice upon entering the West Hollywood apartment is the filth. The […]
Trump: Abortion OK Only When Made to Look Like Miscarriage
NEW YORK CITY–In an apparent attempt to appeal to both Republican and Democratic voters, GOP Presidential Nominee Donald Trump today clarified his stance on abortion. “Abortion is wrong–period. I’ve […]
Debate Moderator Reminds Trump to Keep Answers On Topic, Hands off Hillary’s Pussy
LAS VEGAS–Fox News anchor Chris Wallace opened last night’s final presidential debate as moderator by reminding GOP nominee Donald Trump to stay on topic, keep his answers short and respectful, […]
Sympathetic NHL Hall of Fame to Induct Pete Rose
TORONTO–National Hockey League Hall of Fame Chairman Wayne Gretzky announced today that the 2016 class would include, alongside legendary hockey player Wayne Gretzky, Major League Baseball’s all time hits leader […]
Nation’s Police Announce Plan to Increase Shootings of Unarmed White Men
WASHINGTON D.C.—In an effort to defuse growing hostilities between the law enforcement community and African Americans, today the nation’s highest ranking police official announced a plan to increase the number […]
Loser 11th Grader Still Hasn’t Lost Virginity to English Teacher
WACO, Texas—According to multiple sources, Mark Dodson, a junior at David Koresh High School, is the sole boy in his class who has yet to lose his virginity to Sandra […]
Nation’s Men Demand Transexuals Join Them in the Restroom
AMERICA–Men across the nation have rallied together to demand that transgender people who have male genitalia come on into the men’s room with them, like God intended. “Is that a […]
First Stage of Gitmo Shutdown to Affect Nightclubs, Waterpark
GUANTANAMO BAY, Cuba—Critics of President Barack Obama’s inaction on his long-promised plan to close the federal detention center here were overjoyed at the news last week that the prison, commonly […]
Canada Expedites Construction of Wall Along US Border
OTTAWA, Ontario–As the country prepares to deal with a major influx of illegal immigrants, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced today that the government has issued an order in council […]
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