Try to focus on the kitten FOXBOROUGH, Massachusetts–New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft reminded fans and media today of the proper procedures to take when encountering tight end Rob Gronkowski. […]
Lynch apparently blended in too well with other travelers SEATTLE, Washington–Seattle Seahawks head coach Pete Carroll is reportedly frantically searching for transportation back to Glendale, Arizona after discovering that the […]
ARLINGTON, Texas–The Dallas Cowboys’ season ended last night in electrifying fashion, as an assailant obscured to viewing audiences entered owner Jerry Jones’ luxury box and shot the billionaire before fleeing […]
CLEVELAND, Ohio–Cleveland Cavaliers star forward LeBron James said today that he would love to just go ahead and shave his head entirely bald, but his oddly-shaped skull makes that almost […]
Can you use it in a sentence? TALLAHASSEE, Florida–Embattled Florida State University quarterback Jameis Winston said today that this whole time he’s been thinking consensual meant something completely different than […]
LIMA, Peru–Organizers are facing another public relations nightmare after the championship match between France and China at the World Marco Polo Championships was halted midway through the third period following […]
Manning is fearless when it comes to yelling at black teammates DENVER, Colorado–Denver Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning made headlines again this week when he completely avoided controversy or criticism of […]
Goodell and a well-behaved woman NEW YORK CITY–Embattled NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell is taking steps to prove the league is serious about its stance regarding physical violence against women. The […]
ST. LOUIS, Missouri–ESPN NFL Insider John Clayton reported today that the St. Louis Rams have shown dramatic improvement this off-season in their ability to hold on to the soap in […]
Pretend boob grabbing is also off limits NEW YORK CITY–National Football League Commissioner Roger Goodell sent a strong message today to coaches and players across the league when he announced […]
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