MOSCOW–President Vladimir Putin today informed Russian Federal Assembly members his intended plan to increase the presidential maximum bench press by up to 20% over the next year. Putin outlined a […]
Recent recruiting trip AR-RAQQAH, Syria–For the third straight year ISIS has emerged after terrorist signing day with the top ranked class in the world, according to several terrorist ranking services. […]
Living proof BOSTON, Massachusetts–Legendary children’s entertainer Frosty “The Snowman” Goldstein testified before congress today on the subject of climate change. The former actor, who gained fame in the 1960s with […]
NORMAN, Oklahoma–Researchers at the University of Oklahoma announced today they have successfully developed an intense therapeutic regimen designed to free patients from the filthy homosexual lifestyle. The study–funded by a […]
EL SEGUNDO, California–Christopher Sinclair, chairman of Mattel, Inc., announced today that the toy manufacturing company has enjoyed a nearly 20% sales increase this quarter over the same period a year […]
PHILADELPHIA, Pennsylvania–With Presidents’ Day approaching, the Joshing Institute, a division of the American Historical Society, conducted a nationwide poll to determine our nation’s greatest president in the public’s eyes. “There […]
AUSTIN, Texas–Governor Greg Abbott defended Texas’ policies regarding capital punishment, saying the state’s record number of executions actually highlights the progressive social attitudes of Texas residents. “As Texans, we believe […]
WASHINGTON, D.C.–In an effort to rally support for a widened military campaign against Islamic State fighters, President Barack Obama courageously vowed today to personally lead coalition air strikes as a […]
FRANKFURT, Kentucky–The state of Kentucky is facing a potentially catastrophic shortfall in its yearly skunk yields that has some experts worried may lead to widespread starvation and increasing crime rates […]
HOLLYWOOD–Former Team USA track and field superstar and Olympic gold-medal winning decathlete Bruce Jenner announced today that her transition into Oscar-winning actress Renee Zellwegger is now complete. Jenner went public […]
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