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Tag Archives: NFL

Doctor Clears Jets QB Geno Smith to Return to Sucking

September 25, 2015by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

NEW YORK CITY–New York Jets Head Coach Todd Bowles told reporters today the team’s terrible quarterback, Geno Smith, has been cleared to return to the team after rehabilitating a broken […]

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Sports

New England Patriots Accused of Leaving Fireworks Lying Around Giants Facility

September 22, 2015by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

NEW YORK CITY–The NFL is investigating allegations that New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick has been sneaking into New York Giants team facilities and leaving dangerous fireworks lying around, […]

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Sports

QB Guru Thinks Nonstop Masturbation to Blame for Tim Tebow’s Poor Throwing Motion

August 28, 2015by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

PHILADELPHIA, Pennsylvania–After working with Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Tim Tebow for more than a year, quarterback coach Tom House believes he has finally identified the reason the Heisman Trophy-winning play caller […]

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Sports

Tom Brady’s Son Voted Most Likely to Succeed by Pre-Schoolmates

July 28, 2015by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

LOS ANGELES, California—Benjamin Brady, the six year-old son of New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady and supermodel Gisele Bundchen, has been voted Most Likely to Succeed by his classmates at […]

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Sports

Tom Brady Sobs After Being Passed Over By Every Team in 2015 NFL Draft

April 30, 2015by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

BOSTON, Massachusetts–New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady was reduced to tears after once again being passed over by all 32 teams in the 2015 NFL draft.  The All-Pro four-time Super […]

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Sports

Steelers Sign Roethlisberger to Protective Order

March 24, 2015by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

PITTSBURGH, Pennsylvania–The Pittsburgh Steelers announced today that they have convinced star quarterback Ben Roethlisberger to sign a long term protective order that will keep him at least 500 feet away […]

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Sports

NFL Quietly Removes Spouse-Dragging From Rookie Combine

February 18, 2015by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

But that was my best event INDIANAPOLIS, Indiana–NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell held a relatively low key press conference today to address this year’s rookie combine.  Among the issues Goodell spoke […]

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Sports

Buffalo Restaurant Workers Brace for Arrival of Rex Ryan

January 12, 2015by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

BUFFALO, New York–Newly hired Buffalo Bills head coach Rex Ryan’s economic impact is already being felt in this city of over 250,000 as area restaurants scramble to hire additional employees […]

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Business

Dallas Cowboys’ Season Ends on ‘Who Shot Jerry Jones?’ Cliffhanger

December 22, 2014by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

ARLINGTON, Texas–The Dallas Cowboys’ season ended last night in electrifying fashion, as an assailant obscured to viewing audiences entered owner Jerry Jones’ luxury box and shot the billionaire before fleeing […]

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Sports

Teammates Praise Peyton Manning for Being “Exactly the Right Amount of White”

November 10, 2014by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

Manning is fearless when it comes to yelling at black teammates DENVER, Colorado–Denver Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning made headlines again this week when he completely avoided controversy or criticism of […]

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Sports

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