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Category Archives: US

CIA Chief Denies Agency Uses Tickle Torture

September 15, 2014by Sal Kingfisher 7 Comments

  Hi! WASHINGTON, D.C.–CIA Director John Brennan testified before congress today to address the recent allegations that the espionage agency has used illegal interrogation techniques when questioning terror suspects.  Brennan […]

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US

Soldier Pretends to Be Killed in Action, Surprises Son at Funeral

May 27, 2014by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

  His reaction was priceless DERRY, Maine–Staff Sergeant Mike Hollis knew he wanted to make his homecoming special for his four-year old son, Tanner.  The 29-year old Hollis was scheduled […]

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US

World’s Stupidest Whale Beached Again

May 10, 2014by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

And the dumbass thinks it’s funny BEACH CITY, WASH.–For the fifth time in a month, residents of this sleepy resort town were forced to come together and rescue a killer […]

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US

Alabama Personhood Bill States That Life Begins at First Utterance of the N-Word

February 28, 2014by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

This child is technically nine months old MONTGOMERY, AL–Rep. Mike Hubbard, (R), is proposing a new bill that defines when human life begins, or personhood.  The personhood debate has raged […]

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US

Dennis Rodman Named CIA Spy of the Year

December 30, 2013by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

Rodman’s spying motto: Fuck incognito LANGLEY, VA–Basketball Hall of Famer and former NBA All-Star Dennis Rodman was named the 2013 recipient of the coveted Sterling Hayden Award, given each year […]

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US

Alabama Observes Moment of Silence to Try and Erase Memory of Nelson Mandela

December 10, 2013by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

See you later Bama…or not MONTGOMERY, AL–As leaders from around the world converge on Soweto, South Africa to celebrate the life and mourn the passing of Nelson Mandela, the southern […]

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US

JFK Assassination Re-enactment Highlight of Dallas 50th Anniversary Celebration

November 22, 2013by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

JFK impersonator Lance Kendrick has waited years for this day DALLAS–As the festivities surrounding the 50th anniversary of the assassination of President John F. Kennedy came to a close, 150 […]

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US

NSA Agents Break Down Door of Seattle Man to Convince Him to Give Connie One More Chance

September 11, 2013by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

And would it kill you to use some emoticons now and then? SEATTLE–A National Security Agency analyst has dispatched a field team in a coordinated effort with the Seattle Police […]

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US

Owner Whose Dog Developed Superpowers Wishes He’d Have Trained Her a Little More

July 29, 2013by Sal Kingfisher 1 Comment

Look, up in the sky!  Is that dog shit? FORT SCOTT, KS–When Jeff Luther adopted his dog, Dodger, an Australian Shepherd-mix, last year, he did so with the intention of […]

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US

Man Who Ignored Warning to Check Himself Killed in Single Car Accident

July 8, 2013by Sal Kingfisher Leave a comment

Cureton was found wearing a Tap Out shirt with his cellphone in his hand, his sunglasses upside down and backward PAWNEE, OK–Bryan Cureton, a 29 year-old father of two, died […]

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US

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