Cureton was found wearing a Tap Out shirt with his cellphone in his hand, his sunglasses upside down and backward

PAWNEE, OK–Bryan Cureton, a 29 year-old father of two, died in a single car accident yesterday after failing to heed repeated warnings from his wife of five years, Tara, to check himself.  Cureton, an insurance salesman, had recently become the number one salesman in his territory, and had of late been showing increasing signs of arrogance and rude behavior.

“I had been telling him he needed to curb the attitude,” Tara Cureton said, “But he wouldn’t listen.  He thought he was on the fast track to being the number one salesman in the state.  His ego got out of control.  And this happened.”

Co-workers at the insurance agency where Cureton worked called his death traumatic, but not all that shocking.  David Reed, the number two salesman at the agency, noted how easy it is to lose sight of one’s values when a person gains sudden success, as Cureton had.

“I was the top salesman the last two years,” Reed explained, “And it’s really easy to let that kind of success go to your head.  Luckily, I have a real solid foundation that keeps me from forgetting who I am.  Once, I had taken my mother to lunch, and I gave the waitress, a real pretty gal, a light pat on the rear.  My mother slapped the living fuck out of me, and let me know that I wasn’t all that.  It might be the only reason I’m alive today.”

Tara Cureton said she hopes that her husband’s death can ultimately serve as a reminder for others who are becoming too big for their britches.

“My one hope is that people who are becoming assholes can use this as a lesson,” Tara said, “If one life is saved, and one person is able to not become an absolute dickhead, then Bryan didn’t die in vain.”