MAPLES GROVE, Iowa–Speaking to a large gathering of chickens in their coop, local farmer Benjamin Fisher promised to finally put an end to the steady stream of foxes that have entered the pen unfettered over the years, if he is able to successfully secure financing to purchase the farm where the chickens reside.
“And I’m not talking about securing the coop that’s there,” Fisher vowed, “It’s gonna be a brand new fence, bigger than you’ve ever seen. And believe me, I know how to build fences and all kinds of stuff.”
Fisher, who only recently decided to become a farmer, has spent most of his working life running various construction companies–including Bennie’s Fence Co.–most of which were only mildly successful. But even with his seeming lack of experience, the chickens inside the coop clucked with enthusiasm.
“And let me tell you, the great thing about this fence is that it’s not going to cost this farm anything,” Fisher continued, “I’m going to make the foxes themselves build it. I’m very good at dealing with foxes, believe me. I’m like the fox whisperer.”
Following the speech, the vast majority of chickens clucked and flapped their wings wildly in support of their potential new farmer. Fisher left for a meeting with an executive of a nearby food-supply company, where he hoped to secure a new trade agreement. Fisher also noted that most farmers, in his estimation, seem to know very little about farming.