Rolling Stones Inducted Into Museum of Natural History

LONDON–Legendary rockers The Rolling Stones received possibly the band’s highest honor when it was announced that they would go on permanent display at London’s Natural History Museum.  The members of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame will headline a new exhibit of works that are described as neither truly alive nor truly dead.

“It’s just an incredible honor, isn’t it?” said guitarist Keith Richards, “The Beatles, as great as they were, never became museum artifacts, did they?”

Museum patrons will be treated to profanity laden tirades from band members, and for an additional fee can caress and feed drummer Charlie Watts.  Richards, who died in 1986 but returned to the band later that year, hinted that some lucky museum guests may be afforded the opportunity to assist staff in changing singer Mick Jagger’s diaper on occasion.

“We have a lot of exciting things planned, haven’t we?” Richards said, “Our goal is to make this the biggest museum exhibit in the world.  We’ve even had discussions to get Bill Wyman on loan from the Smithsonian for a short run.”

Experts have predicted the exhibit will break current museum box office records, as there have already been over £200 million in advanced ticket sales.  Individual passes for the exhibit are expected to be priced at around £400.

“Obviously, we’re not concerned about the money,” Richards said, “This is all about the fans, isn’t it?  I’m just happy to know what I’ll be doing for the rest of human existence, and that I’ll be able to do it with me blokes.”

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