Veteran Finally Receives Dishonorable Discharge After 44 Years
Parker is behind the other soldiers in the fetal position MOUNT PLEASANT, MO—John Parker was a 20 year old Staff Sergeant in the US Army in 1969, having cowered during […]
Monthly Archives: April 2013
Heart Attack Grill Unveils New Menu That Includes Execution Style Murder In Back Alley
Customers leave this life with full bellies and broken dreams LAS VEGAS—A popular Las Vegas hamburger joint that caters to suicidal customers who want a tasty last meal is expanding […]
The Crocodile Hunter Given Second Chance at Life
God’s curse also included hanging out with Will Smith and Matt Damon HOLLYWOOD—Steve Irwin, better known to American television audiences as The Crocodile Hunter, made a surprise appearance on The […]
Doctor Who Helped Craft Death With Dignity Act Dies on Shitter
Dr. Martin often used fart jokes to put his patients at ease EUGENE, OR—Dr. Stanley Martin, who played a vital role in the passing of Oregon’s Death With Dignity Act, […]
Obama Admits He Was Fathered By A Jackal
The president demonstrates his “jackal face” WASHINGTON DC—President Obama finally admitted today that there may be a small kernel of truth to numerous stories that are being shared on social […]
Rutgers Basketball Coach Fired For Loving Too Much
Rice harshly punished players who looked at opposing coaches NEW BRUNSWICK, NJ—Rutgers University athletic director Tim Pernetti announced today that head men’s basketball coach Mike Rice would be terminated for […]
Syria Reports Over 6,000 Suicides in March
Assad says the stress is affecting his ability to grow a decent mustache DAMASCUS—Syrian President Bashar al-Assad called last month one of the saddest of his presidency following the announcement […]
Kurt Cobain Closing in on 19 Years of Sobriety
Cobain was a notoriously bad shot SEATTLE, WA—Former Nirvana guitarist and singer Kurt Cobain is preparing to celebrate nearly two decades of sobriety, a remarkable achievement for the legendary musician […]
Make-A-Wish Foundation Grants Dying 14-Year-Old Boy’s Wish to Have Sex With Jerry Sandusky
Sandusky calls prison “Way better than I expected.” FRANKLIN TOWNSHIP, PA—When 14 year-old Joey Patrick found out earlier this year that the cancer he had struggled with for the last […]
AmericasComedy.com Review Confirms Broken World News is the Internet’s Most Trustworthy News Source
Is that your review, or are you just happy to see us? SACRAMENTO—Soon-to-be Pulitzer Prize-winning media critic Alex Schildgen has just completed his masterwork: a glowing review of the hard-hitting, […]
Broken World News 