Hobby Lobby, where arts, crafts and babies are made

OKLAHOMA CITY, Oklahoma–Hobby Lobby, the Oklahoma City-based crafts and hobby store, was devastated earlier this year when the United States Supreme Court ruled that they could no longer provide some birth control options to their employees.  Hobby Lobby founder and CEO David Green said the ruling effectively ended the chain store’s ability to operate after nearly all of the chain’s more than 10,000 female employees became pregnant and were forced to take government-mandated time off for maternity leave.

“What are we supposed to do now?,” Green asked at a press conference announcing the closing of the chain, “Women are our most highly valued and well-trained employees.  Should we suddenly expect our work force to depend on under-trained temporary employees, most of whom will be female who will almost certainly become pregnant soon after receiving training?  This is a dark day for America.”

The Supreme Court’s ruling, which states that employers shall not, under any circumstances, pay, through insurance plans, for emergency contraception pills, commonly known as “morning after” pills, for their employees.  The decision baffled Green, who has a sterling reputation as a defender of women’s rights.

“I don’t understand why the Supreme Court feels they should be ruling on things that relate to a woman’s vagina,” Green said, “Why not worry about things that really negatively affect this country, like the humanitarian disaster that is happening on our southern border, or the basic rights denied our homosexual brothers and sisters?”

Green went on to say that he and many other men who are employed by Hobby Lobby had attempted to pay, from their own finances, to provide adequate birth control resources for Hobby Lobby’s female employees, but the burden proved too great to bear.

“As men, we at Hobby Lobby recognize the role we play in the creation of life, and wanted to do our part,” Green said, “But, ultimately, we were unable to sustain a profitable enterprise due to unwanted government intervention.  The ironic thing is, this ruling will ultimately lead to a generation of children who will have to rely on government assistance to have a chance at life.  Thanks a lot, Obama.”