Kobe Bryant Calls Sex With Steve Nash “Rough But Consensual”; Nash Out 2-4 Weeks

LOS ANGELES—The Los Angeles Lakers announced point guard Steve Nash will miss up to four weeks following injuries he sustained on their latest road trip.

“Steve’s just a little banged up right now,” coach Mike D’Antoni said following an afternoon shoot around, “But he’ll be back pretty soon. The guy’s a warrior.”

This latest setback comes after rumors of a late-night encounter between Nash and shooting guard Kobe Bryant following Wednesday’s loss to Sacramento.

“Things got a little heated in the locker room after the game,” said center Pau Gasol, “I think those guys just needed to blow off a little steam.”

According to witnesses, Bryant and Nash had a loud exchange about Bryant’s unwillingness to give up the ball, followed by Bryant pinning Nash up against a scoring table. Soon, the two were locked in a warm embrace, and the rest of the team was ordered out of the locker room.

“These types of things sometimes occur over the course of a long season,” Bryant said, brushing off any concerns, “I told Steve sometimes you just have to take one for the team.”

For his part, Nash brushed aside any lingering controversy, saying the two are getting along better than ever.

“The only thing that came out of this deal is I changed his nickname,” Nash laughed, “He used to be the Black Mamba, now he’s the Black Python.”

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