Defiant Kristi Noem Tears Head off Kitten During Press Conference
PIERRE, South Dakota — South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem apparently doubled-down on her image as a tough as nails country woman earlier today when she stood in front of the […]
Tag Archives: Satire
Thoughts and Prayers Most Effective as Preventive Measure, God Says
SALT LAKE CITY, Utah–Speaking today at the Favored Children’s Conference at Brigham Young University, Our Heavenly Father shed light on a topic that has been heavily debated over the past […]
NFL to Fund Study on Effects of Concussions on Players’ Spouses
Spending less time online and more time cleaning has proven to be effective at reducing the risk of concussions NEW YORK CITY–In light of recent reports on the growing problem […]
Taylor Swift Announces Birth of Third Child
KANSAS CITY, Missouri–Pop superstar Taylor Swift announced today on social media that she has given birth to a baby girl. The reclusive singer, who is known to shun the spotlight […]
Doctors Now Say Some Moderate Shaking Can Be Good for Babies
LONDON–Dr. Kal Memon at the CHI Saint Lawrence Pediatric Research Hospital said this week that recent research has shown that developing babies can reap great benefits from light to moderate […]
Trump: Abortion OK Only When Made to Look Like Miscarriage
NEW YORK CITY–In an apparent attempt to appeal to both Republican and Democratic voters, GOP Presidential Nominee Donald Trump today clarified his stance on abortion. “Abortion is wrong–period. I’ve […]
Investigation Reveals That I Fucked Your Mom
TULSA, Oklahoma—Following a brief investigation, officials say they have uncovered overwhelming evidence that proves that I fucked your mom last night. Citing my intimate knowledge of her ass that is […]
Lauren Boebert Says Colorado Gunman Fell One Kill Short of Earning Free Meal at Shooter’s Grill
BOULDER, Colorado–Rep. Lauren Boebert condemned the actions of a man who opened fire at a King Soopers grocery store on Monday, killing ten. “It’s such and act of cowardice to […]
“Exploding Arm Syndrome” Completely Unrelated to COVID-19 Vaccine, says Pfizer Rep
NEW YORK–Following the latest incident in which a man’s arm exploded into a cloud of red mist immediately after receiving his second dose of the Pfizer COVID-19 vaccine, Dawn Wells, […]
Texas Pushes to Outlaw All Abortions Except in Cases Where Fetus Poses Threat to Mother and Father
AUSTIN, Texas–State Sen. Bryan Hughes (R) announced this week that he and fellow lawmakers have agreed to ease some elements of the proposed “heartbeat bill” that bars abortions in almost […]
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