Alabama Progressive Thinker

WEST BLUETICK, AL—Markie Roland has spent the past few years embroiled in a largely ineffectual battle to convince his fellow townspeople to show some respect to President Barack Obama.

“Most everyone here is pretty convinced he’s a Nazi,” Roland says, “At least that’s what they say. But the truth is, he ain’t never gonna get a fair shake as long as he’s colored.”

Roland spent the early years of the Obama administration arguing to his neighbors that the president is, in fact, only half black, to little or no avail.

“The waters are still muddied, is all they’d say,” Roland says, “It sure doesn’t help that he likes that basketball so much. I just wished he would have played a little football. He’s got the frame of a decent wide out.”

As the last election neared, Roland found himself having to defend his position as the town’s lone democrat on a near daily basis. Then one day he overheard some local roofers complaining that they were losing out on jobs to illegal Mexican immigrants.

“The next time I got to arguing with someone over the president, I said ‘at least he’s not a Mexican’,” Roland says, “And that really made him stop and think.”

Soon, Roland was able to convince many of the townsfolk that there could definitely be worse things than having a black president.

“A lot of folks have come around to my way of thinking,” Roland says, “What if the president was oriental? Or worse yet, one of them Navajos or Cherokees. I think it’s time to be thankful for what we’ve got.”